If you ask some people how long it took them to get over a heartbreak, some would say, It took me three months to feel more positive about their breakup. Another person would say, It took me six months before I felt ready to move on.

Others might even say, It took me one year or a year and a half to fully find myself and get over my ex.

So like it is rightly said, time heals all wounds. Yes, It would take time but you would eventually get over it. Yes, there are processes involved and stages you must pass through, you would find out more about them in this article.

There is no specific time to get over a heartbreak because as humans our healing process varies, some get really emotionally stressed and can’t get over it, while trying to forget about it like it never happened, but we all need to pass through the stages of heartbreak.

So many factors can affect your healing process, even your personal experience might affect your recovery process, if you happen to have gone through heartbreak various times and you think about your healing process you would discover that it varies, the way you healed quickly then won’t be the same way, the healing time would definitely vary. So no one can actually give a specific time to get over a heartbreak, time heals all wounds.

How Long Does It Take To Get Over A Broken Heart?

It won’t take forever, it would just be for a period of about 3 months. You just have to find yourself, find your healing process, and find that particular tip, advice, or activity you need to get over it.

While Thinking Of All This You Also Need To:

Give Yourself Time To Heal

You are your best medicine, take out time to heal if staying off social gatherings or social platforms would help you heal, do that with all sincerity.

You don’t have to put your life on hold, keep going but at the same time separate yourself from anything that would affect your healing time.

Take it one at a time and allow time to work its magic.

Avoid Holding Yourself To A Deadline

You shouldn’t rush the process, and you don’t need to set a deadline because it doesn’t work that way, your patience and time are what you need, so give yourself all the time you need without setting deadlines, it’s not a proposal or project you have to submit to get a promotion rather it’s your life and only by getting through the healing process can you be able to move on.

Give Yourself Permission And Time To Grieve

It’s okay to cry out, it’s natural to give a lost friendship or relationship, it’s normal. You can give yourself some time alone, off work, away from the city, or with bitter memories. 

Read also: What Does Heartbreak Feel Like?

Feel free to talk about it and share your feelings with someone, you aren’t the first nor would you be the last to go through heartbreak, also do not confine yourself to a place, go out when you ought to, eat proper meals, take care of your personal health and hygiene. It takes only you to pick up the broken pieces and find your route.

What Are The 5 Stages Of Break-Up?

• DENIAL

• ANGER

• BARGAINING

• DEPRESSION

• ACCEPTANCE

 DENIAL

This involves the defense mechanism involving a refusal to accept the truth of a prospect.

In the denial stage you find yourself refusing to believe what has happened, it all seems like a lie to you and no one is able to let you understand or see the truth, you only see what you want to see, one might be in the denial stage for some couple of weeks or even a month.

You would yourself constantly glancing through your phone and expecting the usual calls, SMS, chats, and so on, you would find yourself doing various things like waiting for the doorbell to ring and you would find your ex at the door with a flower or box of chocolates like always, going to your favorite places and expecting to see your ex over there waiting for you, seeing your ex in your dreams. 

In this stage, you would need to turn to family and friends. When the denial stage is finally over you would come to terms with the that the relationship or friendship is truly over and then you move to the next stage.

 ANGER 

A strong feeling of displeasure or hostility towards someone or something and it’s usually combined with an urge to harm.

This stage comes with hostility towards your ex, you would begin to think of one thousand and one reasons you should harm him, whenever you have such feelings use them on something useful you can try drawing, scrambling, visitation, writing, singing, doing house chores, or talking to someone to get it off your mind and if keeps coming you should see a relationship coach, you might feel used and dumped, you might be displeased with yourself it’s okay to feel so, it’s the healing process you would definitely get over it.

BARGAINING

A form of agreement or mutual pledge.

At the bargaining stage, you might want to settle for friendship, you would find yourself requesting your ex that you both restore yourselves by building a friendship to help you get over it all. 

While this might sound like a great idea, it is very risky and also not advisable. While settling for friendship your healing process might stop drastically because you would see yourself reliving those past memories, talking like you always do, and you would want something more than friendship.

So in most cases, going back to befriending yourself might not be advisable because you would have the feeling that things would change but they won’t. It’s good to forgive your ex but at the same time, restore friendship only after your healing process.

DEPRESSION

This involves a period of unhappiness or low morale which lasts longer than several weeks.

At the depression stage, you would want to be by yourself, it’s okay to want that but you shouldn’t shun families and friends that would want to help you get through it.

At this point you have realized that things won’t change, so you would want to be alone to grieve about your lost relationship.

 Many people do harmful things to themselves at this depression stage so it is advisable that you are always around people and you inform someone about what runs into your mind, or wherever you want to go, keep yourself busy, get engaged with positive things, go to the movies, attend parties with friends, listen to songs, watch comedies, do things that would make you happy and would get you out of the depressed period.

ACCEPTANCE

This is the final stage that involves accepting the situation and coming to terms with it, at this stage you find yourself picking up the broken pieces and making them a brick. It is also a stage for reflection, you reflect on the possible things you must have done wrong, things you would need to correct in your next relationship, things you shouldn’t have accepted, words you should have said or you shouldn’t have spoken at all, you would braze up yourself and be ready to let your past experiences go.

CONCLUSION

Acceptance is the first key to recovery, when you find yourself coming to terms with what happened and accepting it is all over then it means you are recovering.

Self-motivation can also help in your quest to get over a broken heart, you just have to see a broken relationship as a sign that the relationship wasn’t meant to be, and that you deserve someone better. 

You can also see it as a stage to build up yourself, learn from your mistakes and aim for a better relationship like it is rightly said experience is the best teacher.

Be the better person and bigger person and forgive, forgiveness can also help you find your peace, I know you wasted years but you can’t move on if you don’t forgive.

When you forgive, it also means you are ready to forget everything and move on.

When you go through the various stages of heartbreak, don’t think you won’t need anyone, of course, you would need your family, and your friends, and you would need all the help you can possibly get, so don’t shun them out rather accept all the care and love you can possibly get. But if you find your healing process not improving you should see a counselor or relationship coach so as to help you come out of your past and embrace the future.

-Ibukun Ilufoye

The post How Long Does Heartbreak Last? appeared first on WONDIVA.

Heartbreak is like a deep wound that keeps bleeding like it never wants to stop. The pain that accompanies heartbreak is better imagined than experienced.

You may lose your appetite, avoid social gatherings, lose the zeal to work, etc. It’s not something anyone should go through but at the end of the day we are all humans and as long as we are humans we remain fallible. We end up hurting people as they hurt us too. 

How Do You Tell If You Have A Broken Heart? 

When you love someone so much but they don’t love you the same way, when you care about someone so much but they don’t give 2 cents about you when you give your all but they don’t reach except they need something from you, you will tend to feel a tug of war in your chest, you then become paranoid and begin to ask yourself questions that may never get answered. 

A lot of the time heartbreak is already screaming out before it happens. It’s just that we’ve chosen to lose touch with reality and so we are blinded by what we think it should be other than what we see.

What do I mean? I mean that there are signs a person is going to get heartbroken but a lot of times we are caught up with what should be rather than what is going on at present. 

A person who has a broken heart will be close-hearted towards love, they wouldn’t want to have anything to do with love or anything related to it because of the hurt they feel.

A lot of times when people claim that they have moved from a past relationship, what they mean most times is that their heart is closed off, some don’t even realize it until when they find love again, then they begin to treat this new person as though they were the cause of the previous heartbreak. 

No one prays for a broken heart but it happens when it happens which is why we should always step away from a person and look deep to see if we are happy being with or without this person or if we are truly being our best self in the relationship. 

The Following Are Signs That You Have A Broken Heart 

• You easily lose interest and enthusiasm for social gatherings 
• You’ve given up on love 
•  You’ve shut yourself out from friends and family 
•  You don’t want to meet someone new 
• You don’t want to watch any romantic scenes, or movies or even attend a wedding 
• You become paranoid about the opposite gender 
• You easily lose trust 
• You play mind games on people who show you interest 
• You become paranoid around people 
• You no longer believe in long-term relationships 

 You easily lose interest and enthusiasm for social gatherings 

This is when you suddenly turn into a couch potato, you don’t want to chill out or have fun because you’ve become so protective of yourself that you prevent other people from getting to you. 

You’ve given up on love 

You probably haven’t realized this yet but you have given up on love and you don’t think that after the hurt you’ve experienced that you will find love again. 

 You’ve shut yourself out from friends and family 

Your family tries to reach you but you are cold and out of touch. Your friends do not have access to you anymore and you have refused to hang out or talk about the situation with them. 

 You don’t want to meet someone new 

You keep thinking that it will happen again, so you are afraid to get to know someone because in your heart you still think another heartbreak could be possible with this new person. 

You don’t want to watch any romantic scenes, or movies or even attend a wedding 

This one even makes you sad because you watch a romantic scene and all of a sudden you begin to mourn your failed relationship all over again and wish the heartbreak never happened 

Read Also: How Can You Tell A Woman Is Heartbroken?

You become paranoid about the opposite gender 

Every person now looks like a potential heartbreaker to you, so you begin to pick out flaws from this person and never cut them some slacks. 

You easily lose trust 

You find it hard to trust anyone again, so you make it difficult for someone to earn your trust 

You play mind games on people who show you interest 

You do this to give yourself some self-validation and mini-revenge for what your ex did to hurt you or break your heart

You become paranoid around people 

You already judge people even before you get to know them and you think low of them. In local parlance” you do not rate them at all”. You can’t seem to think of anything positive about them no matter how hard you try. 

You no longer believe in long-term relationships 

You lack the willpower to commit when it’s time for the commitment you shy away from the responsibility and give all sorts of excuses to avoid the commitment word. 

Read Also: How To Find Love After 30

A heartbreak situation is usually hard to process, your emotions are in a rush and you can’t seem to process what just happened because in your eyes everything was good “we were happy” and now this happens. 

You keep asking yourself “where did I go wrong?”, “what could I have done differently?

The more you ask these questions, the more you get worried because you may never get the answers to those questions. 

The aftermath of heartbreak is a delicate one that must be handled with utmost care otherwise it may scar you for a long time. One of the reasons why you may not easily overcome a heartbreak is that you’ve refused to heal.

You still want to nurse the pain, you still want to bask in the euphoria of what could have been. Moving on is difficult but you have to move on regardless, and surround yourself with trusted friends and family. Talking about the situation with others can help you heal in time. 

You can also seek counseling or even therapy because you need to be healthy and secure again. A failed love doesn’t mean that love fails. You can still find love again even after a breakup if only you choose to heal and prepare your heart for someone else. 

Seeking a counselor will enable you to see different perspectives of the heartbreak and also help you understand your relationships better. You can’t see it all, sometimes you will need to see through the eye of another person’s lenses. 

Conclusion 

One surefire way of knowing that heartbreak is on its way is through reduced communication or the lack of it. Communication is the nutrient for a healthy relationship just like food nourishes the body, so does communication nourish a relationship. Without food, your body will be deprived of what it needs to survive and will also not have the energy needed to live life to the fullest, so it is with communication in a relationship. There are other signs to look out for but lack of tops on the chart. 

Communication bonds people together which is why the more you talk to someone the more you become connected to that person. Talking to someone keeps you in the mind of the person and allows you into their world and into their inner circle which in turn makes you close to this person which is why reduced communication should bother you when it happens all of a sudden. 

You will need to look at the frequency of your communication and most importantly the quality of communication you both have but also make sure that you are also putting in the effort to not let communication die because it’s a two-way street. 

-Jessica Egbuagah

The post What Does Heartbreak Feel Like? appeared first on WONDIVA.

You can tell a woman is heartbroken when she starts to isolate herself or get sad over little things. Heartbreak is an emotional feeling that comes from disappointment of having lost something or someone close to or deeply attached to you, It might not necessarily be your fault that such friendship or relationship failed or got disconnected but still it is naturally to feel heartbroken when one loses something or someone dear even though it’s a pet, a love one, one’s partner. 

There are various ways to know a woman is heartbroken and it’s basically depending on individual feelings or emotions, at first it feels like you are in pain, next you feel like you have lost it all  and it is your fault you didn’t sustain or keep the relationship, they weren’t given enough time to express themselves or say their goodbyes, some people even feel there is something they should have said or done to keep the relationship. 

Some other women blame it on their ex’s and feel they should have been the one to call it off due to one reason or another. But in all, it takes only you to braze up yourself and overcome that feeling, and if you don’t overcome the feeling you would see yourself drowning in it.

You should be able to pick up the broken pieces, take it off your mind, find your way around it and take your time in getting to a new relationship.

What Does Heartbreak Feel Like For A Woman:

Some women express their feelings and emotions when heartbroken and it’s easy for close relatives and friends to understand what has happened, such a woman becomes physically stressed and ill suddenly, they become emotionally drained. They are not as active as they once were and they constantly talk about their failed relationship and find it hard to do things properly.

Some women don’t express their feelings or whatever is going on in their relationship life, they prefer to keep it private but within them they feel hurt and broken, they appear okay physically but inwardly they can’t get over the feeling of their loss. 

Others get over heartbreak quickly, showing it outwardly or keeping it inwardly they just get used to it, at times because the relationship was just a means to pass out time or because they never enjoyed the relationship and separation was the only option.

In all cases it is advisable that the woman’s relatives or friend keep an eye on them constantly or perhaps stay with them, or better still they visit a relationship coach or counselor to aid them in getting through that particular phase.

10 Sign Of An Heartbroken Woman

Here are some few things you would notice in an heartbroken woman, though these signs might not apply for some women, it is the common signs seen in heartbroken women, The following are the signs of an heartbroken woman:

She would lose interest easily

Be it work, school or anything, a heartbroken woman would easily lose in anything, little things that made her smile or laugh can actually get her pissed off, she might lose concentration at work and not perform diligently, her moods are all over the place.

She would avoid social places

An Heartbroken Woman would definitely avoid social places, especially places she had gone to with her EX for example if they attended the same church were they were addressed as couples, an heartbroken woman would stop attending the church, she might also not want to go out because she is emotionally drained, she might get to see couples bonding together and it would remind her of her past relationship.

An heartbroken woman constantly thinks about the past

She finds it hard to get over her past and get into another relationship, even when she gets into a new relationship she can’t get over the past one, she is likely to act upon what happened in her past relationship and the experience she has gotten, she might view the new partner to be the same with her ex, even though it’s not true because her experience in the past relationship keeps standing on the way, getting over her past and moving on might take a long time.

She might not eat properly

An heartbroken woman might lose her appetite, suddenly eating becomes a burden for her but some women eat as many food they can lay hands on to get over the pain, while others don’t have the appetite to eat a proper meal anymore, they don’t eat at the appropriate time or for days except being forced to.

She questions herself

A heartbroken woman is likely to start questioning herself, finding fault in herself and thinking that she was never good for her EX, she might also key into self-blame and feel she was never good enough, she might even desire to be alone at all times.

She might lose her usual zeal to do things

A woman who is usually motivated to do things or take on new and difficult tasks and it comes out positively might not have the zeal or lose interest in taking up tasks or do something different, she would feel she didn’t succeed with her relationship so why would she succeed in doing other things.

She withdraws herself from friends and family

She might withdraw herself from friends and family because she feels she would be asked about her failed relationship, she feels she would be questioned about her shortcomings, she speaks and does little, when a discussion is brought up she tries her best to not talk much because she is lost in her own world, she feels left out in parties or family functions.

An heartbroken woman is likely to block her EX from all social platforms

Just so she won’t come across anything related to him. If they are both in the same group, she might leave the group and unfollow the page just for her peace of mind. While other heartbroken women would try as much as possible to keep up with their EX’s social life just so they can tell if they have really moved on or might be willing to take her back.

Some other women would prefer to leave the city and take a break

Leaving the town, city might sometimes be an option for some women ,that way they would be out of people’s faces or places that reminded them of their EX visiting a new place has its own excitement attached to it and that excitement might just be what they need to get over their emotional pain.

An heartbroken woman might not practice good hygiene

She would not take adequate care of herself like before, like observing the usual bath time, getting her usual bath soap, usual face cream, hair cream, body cream. She won’t feel the urge to dress nicely while going out or put on the right clothes or look good by getting the latest hairstyle.

Conclusion

No one wish to fall into heartbreak, but if ever if happens to you or someone close to you the best thing to do is seek advice from a relationship coach or avoid it from the early stage there is no point dwelling on things you know won’t last you throw them away, the same applies to relationship issues you should disconnect from such relationship that would eventually cause you pain. Try to end it before it gets to the stage where it becomes so painful or unbearable for you to move on, it is better to leave a toxic relationship and bear the heartbreak than allow it to hurt you further, remember a failed relationship is better than a broken marriage.

It is also better to settle conflict amicably in order for it not to result in heartbreak, apologize when it’s necessary and speak up when you feel offended about something, at times your partner might not know if he has offended you or not so it is better to speak up.

-Ibukun Ilufoye

The post How Can You Tell A Woman Is Heartbroken? appeared first on WONDIVA.