It should be general knowledge that telling your girlfriend to stop talking to another guy may come off as controlling or as though you are insecure and demanding. It is perfectly normal for your girlfriend to talk to a guy. It becomes worrisome, however, if these conversations lead your girlfriend to consider a relationship with this guy. In today’s article, I will attempt to guide you through 10 ways to tell your girlfriend to stop talking to a guy.
10 WAYS TO TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO STOP TALKING TO A GUY
- Have a conversation about it: Unless you’re clairvoyant or a seer, I dare say you cannot read minds or know the intention of a person without first consulting them and having them tell you how they feel and what they are thinking. Even your girlfriend. That being said, you need to talk with her about her reasons for talking to this guy in question and ask her on what grounds their conversations are based and if you should be wary of him. whatever her response is to you, you can make an informed decision on the way forward from there. Be sure not to approach the conversation all guarded and set for battle. Approach the conversation with an open mind and a receptive heart. Listen to her and pay attention to what she has to say.
- Express how you feel: If you’re unhappy, don’t pretend to be happy. If you feel jealous don’t pretend not to. However you feel, know that it is valid and it is normal to feel some type of way, what matters isn’t how you feel as much as it is how you behave. So, resist the urge to make it about you and how you feel. Don’t make impulsive decisions you will regret in the long run. Talk to her as you would a learned colleague and a faithful lover. Don’t sit in your thoughts and make up assumptions and draw conclusions without first having a conversation and expressing how you feel. Remember that there is more than meets the eye.
- Make her see reasons: It is human to be selfish. Love, however, requires sacrifice and selflessness. Love isn’t out to hurt anyone, especially not one they love. Because of that, understand that if she loves you, she won’t be out to intentionally hurt you. If anything, she seeks to protect her interest just as much as you do hers. So, help her see why you feel the way you do and why you’re reacting the way you are to her conversations with “this” guy. And hopefully, she sees your reasons and opts out of it.
- Talk to her friends: Sometimes when we talk to our significant other and they don’t seem to understand our sentiments or how we feel, the next bet is their closest friend(s). someone they hold in high esteem and revere. Someone whose opinion is like gospel to them. Explain to them—without making your girl out to be the bad guy—how you feel and what she did to make you feel this way. They can help you know if your emotional sentiments are misplaced and can also be a voice of reason for you too.
- Convince her to stop talking to the guy in a way that leaves her feeling like she decided to stop in the first place: I know it sounds like manipulation, but it isn’t. when you’re done making her see reasons, remind her how much you love her and how important she is to you. If she’s a word of affirmation person, express in words how much she means to you and how blessed you feel knowing she is yours. remind her of all you’ve been through together and all the beautiful memories you shared.
- Check yourself: Understand that talking in the real sense of the word is not a bad thing. Are you merely jealous or is there something else like the need for control? Are you insisting she stops talking to this guy because you want to be the only male figure in her life—except her siblings and father? Ask yourself these questions and check your intentions. If you’re merely being jealous and acting out of your selfish desires then, please slow down and rethink. She is not your child or a child. She is allowed to talk to people and have friends outside of her relationship. If you’re too engrossed in each other’s lives and can’t function outside of your relationship then what you both have is a co-dependent relationship. So dear brother, check yourself.
- Get a life: If you realize you’re too attached and controlling and have your whole life revolving around your girlfriend and can’t function when she’s not by your side or at your beck and call, then you have to retrace your steps and ask yourself where you lost it. Find a hobby, hang out with your friends, finish a course, learn a new skill, and maybe take up dancing classes. Anything to take your mind off you for a minute and unto something else. Just as you want your desires met and opinions revered so also, your girlfriend deserves the same treatment. So dear brother, get your mind and attention unto something else, for your sake.
- Talk to other girls: If you’ve checked yourself and your priorities are in line, and you’ve spoken to her and she doesn’t see anything wrong with how her behavior makes you feel, and you’ve tried distracting your mind with work or getting a new skill or trying a new hobby and it’s failing, then come closer for some bad advice: talk to other girls. Not only will it make her jealous, but it will force you to wear the shoes she’s been wearing and perhaps help you see and understand her disposition clearly. Talking to another girl will also give you a worthy distraction from your head and the madness going on in it. And if you’re a person who is keen to self-reflect, you can ask yourself why and understand what your intentions are and why you sort revenge rather than walking away from a relationship you feel doesn’t serve you anymore. In view of that, dear brother, if you feel like the relationship and the love in it isn’t reciprocated, rather than mirroring your girlfriends’ behavior, be the better person and walk out of it with heads held high and dignity in full check. You will be glad you did in the long run.
- Break up with her: A breakup will definitely hurt you and maybe her, but it is for the best when you both seem to be moving in opposite directions. Understand the importance of communication. Don’t just vanish from the face of the earth and think that is okay. That is mean and callous and not a behavior that a gentleman should possess or embody. Have a conversation with her and let her know why you’re breaking up with her. If she loves you, and values the relationship you both have, she will apologize and correct her ways and you both will live happily ever after.
- Move on: This isn’t one of the ways to tell her to stop talking to a guy, this is a reminder that if she doesn’t see the wrong in her ways and effect corrections where needed then it is okay for you both to part ways and move on. It would hurt for a while, but it would hurt worse the longer you stay together. So, cheer up champ, this is not the end of the world and there are many fishes in the sea—pun intended.
I hope you find peace and love and all the good things you deserve. Know that relationships aren’t all there is to life. just as you desire to give love and share it with people around you, you deserve to receive love too. It is not foolish to express yourself and be vulnerable, it doesn’t make you less of a man. It isn’t weak to make your needs known, it is a problem however, to demand that your opinions be respected at the expense of the other person’s own, irrespective of if you agree with them or not. No form of revenge will satisfy you if you realize your girlfriend is cheating on you. Instead of talking to another girl to piss her off, walk out of that relationship—if you’ve decided she has made her decision and chosen her camp—with your head held high and your pride intact. I’m cheering you on and wishing you the best in your relationship—and out of it.