To be a single mom with no help is a bit difficult. You would have to face a few challenges like prioritizing your health and well-being, taking responsibility, saying goodbye to guilt, facing work-life challenges, emotional challenges, financial strains, family criticism, and all. Here are a few ways you can survive as a single mom.
How Can A Single Mom Survive Without Help?
You can be a single mom without no help by:
- Believing In Yourself
- Take Parenting Classes
- Fight Loneliness
- Learn To Say No
- Maintain A Blameless Mindset
- Nurture And Set Goals For Yourself :
- Prioritize Your Health And Well-being
- Ask For Help If You Need It
- Build A Support System
Believing In Yourself
You need to believe in yourself that you would be able to come past the struggles of single parenting and come out triumphantly. Yes, being a single mom is not easy but your determination would help you scale through.
Take Parenting Classes
Take parenting classes if you have to, it would help you improve on aspects you are not used to, or those things you are finding difficult.
Fight Loneliness
Try as much as possible to fight loneliness in order to not get into depression, be your usual self, and change your previous circle of friends if you have to.
Learn To Say No
You do not have to give your child everything he or she asks for, learn to say no at times. It would help build the child to realize that he or she can’t have everything they want aside from things that are important.
Maintain A Blameless Mindset
Do not blame yourself for a thing that has already happened, try to look at the positive side and be happy you have your child.
Read Also: Does Being A Single Mom Make You Depressed And Angry?
Nurture And Set Goals For Yourself
Single parenting should not stop you from setting and achieving your dreams and goals in life rather it should make you more focused and determined.
Prioritize Your Health And Well-being
Make your personal care and well-being important, and take proper care of your physical and mental health. Stay away from anything or anyone that would affect your physical or mental health.
Ask For Help If You Need It
Don’t be ashamed to ask for help when you need it, we all need help at some phase in our lives, just make sure you ask from trusted families and friends.
Build A Support System
Join communities, and groups that would help you in achieving your purpose and dreams, and also keep you spiritually connected.
What Is The Hardest Thing About Being A Single Mom?
Single mothers face a lot of challenges, the major ones are :
- Sense Of Loneliness
- Lack Of Financial Support
- Child-bearing
- Time
Sense Of Loneliness
Not having someone to share both the good and bad experiences, no one to tell how your day went or how you were happy about a deal, or ask what cloth and shoes you should wear for a particular place or event. Hence, they feel lonely.
Lack Of Financial Support
Not having a helping hand in the financial responsibility of the kids, having to provide for the kids all by yourself, and also taking care of shelter, clothing, good food, and all.
Child-bearing
Going through the childbearing stage (Prenatal, Perinatal, and Postnatal) all along can also be a difficult phase, at this point help and care from one’s partner makes it easier. Also training a child all alone is also trying to balance between being a caring parent and a disciplined parent just to get your kid to learn.
Time
Single parents are always juggling between work, family, personal goals, and kids so they hardly have enough time.
How Do I Motivate Myself As A Single Mom?
Single parenting is not an easy task, you would have criticism from family members to bear, and disagreement from other parents to handle. Here are some tips to help you stay motivated.
- Don’t Be Hard On Yourself
- Exercise
- Think About Your Long Term Goal
- Congratulate Yourself
- Maintain A Journal
Don’t Be Hard On Yourself
Don’t compare yourself to other parents; there is no perfect parent. Try to be who you want to be, your child is not eating as other children do not rush the child, everyone acts according to their own pace.
Exercise
Exercising frequently would help you get over physical stress. You don’t necessarily have to register with a gym class, you can just watch online.
Think About Your Long Term Goal
Thinking about your long-term goal would help you stay focused on achieving it. Don’t get discouraged.
Congratulate Yourself
Celebrate your small and big achievements, even though it’s a small contract, your child graduating from elementary school, or your child learning how to read and write, you need to congratulate yourself on every achievement you make. It doesn’t have to be a big party, it could be buying yourself a pen, or treating yourself to dinner or lunch.
Maintain A Journal
Maintain a journal that contains your short-term and long-term goals, and your day-to-day activities. Your journal should include your physical, financial, spiritual, and mental growth.
What Do Single Moms Worry About?
Single moms are often worried about lack of financial assistance, money, time, and child-rearing. The first three are never enough and the last one is more than enough.
- Lack Of Financial Assistance
- Money
- Time
- Child Rearing
Lack Of Financial Assistance
There is rarely anyone that would be willing to help with some financial aspects and if there is financial assistance it is really not enough. So single parents are often left to cater to their family finances alone.
Money
One of the issues faced by single parents is often money problems, worrying about how to get enough money to take care of their family, kid, and themselves.
Time
Single parents usually don’t have enough time, they work round the clock to make enough money and at times don’t get to see their kids till the close of work for the day. They have no time for family functions. They are always busy trying to make ends meet.
Child Rearing
Single parents often feel they don’t do enough in raising their kids, they feel their kids do not have enough or lack one thing or the other. While most kids are well-trained, some are being pampered due to single parenting.
Why Do I Feel So Lonely As A Single Mom?
Loneliness is usually felt after being separated from one relationship, in single parenting you also feel lonely due to the following reasons:
- No Adult Interaction
- No Time For Self-Discovery
- No Time For Self-Discovery
- Child Custody
No Adult Interaction
If you are used to being in a relationship or marriage and having conversations with one another before being a single parent you would definitely feel lonely. At times you would crave those past memories, companionship, and all, you would wish you had someone to share everything with.
No Time For Self-Discovery
When you do not have time to discover yourself, to do those things you did or you have done like putting on a particular cloth, going to a particular event, visiting a resort center, or going on vacations but can’t see yourself doing it due to the fact that you are now a parent.
No Support System
At times when you are not in a group that recognizes and accepts you the way you are without criticizing you and also helping you grow, you tend to forget about all your problems and you see yourself with a positive mindset. So not having a support system ( a group of like-minded individuals) can make one feel lonely.
Child Custody
A single mom can be lonely when you often have to share the custody of your child between you and your co-parent.
Conclusion
Single parenting might not be easy but you can make it interesting and less difficult if you try the following ways.
Try suggesting a swap arrangement with another parent, a process where you have to take care of their child and they take care of yours for the weekend. It would help you see your lapse as a parent as well as help your child realize your worth as their parent. Most kids feel you do not give them enough so the swapping arrangement might just be a way to correct that notion.
Accept help from parents, grandparents, or relatives who would be willing to lend a helping hand in babysitting or dropping the child off at school, and accept all the help you can get. It would make parenting easier for you.
You can also suggest a regular babysitting center or daycare center that is efficient enough to take care of your kid.
Ask friends, and families if they would be willing to allow your kid to pass the night or visit for weekends if you had got work unattended to.
Create a good relationship with your child. It is often good for parents to have a personal relationship with their kids. It helps you determine or discover if they are facing any challenges or if something went wrong at school or in the daycare. Make sure you do not scare your kid away and listen to the smallest complaints they might have so they can trust you to tell you whatever is happening in their life.
Set boundaries also as a single parent in order for your child to be disciplined. Give punishment when necessary, assign tasks to them, and let them be responsible for washing the dishes or clearing the dishes at home after a meal, washing their socks, or polishing their shoes after school.