Do I Forgive My Boyfriend For Hitting ME ONCE?

Do I Forgive My Boyfriend For Hitting ME ONCE?

Most definitely, you should forgive. We get to sin against God and He forgives us. How much more are our fellow humans? 

You would feel hurt or build a form of anger when someone you love hurts you. But as this anger or hurt grows within you. It is accompanied by other feelings like bitterness, grudge, or the desire to avenge yourself. 

The Bible says “Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many” Hebrews 12:15. So consider forgiving your boyfriend for hitting you, you should definitely be able to forgive. It would take some time to forgive completely but it is important you forgive. Consider forgiving your boyfriend as if one of your friends did something to annoy you, realize their mistake, and then ask for your forgiveness.

You would definitely forgive. Or if your relatives hurt you so badly, you would definitely find a place in your heart to forgive. So if you need answers to forgive or not, I think you should. As much as forgiveness is important and key to moving on. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting and accepting the relationship wholeheartedly once again.

 

Do I Forgive My Boyfriend For Hitting Me Once?

You should forgive irrespective of how you feel. Try to let go of the grudge and forgive. According to the Bible in Ephesians 4:31 ” Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior “. 

Now I am not saying you should accept the apology and go back to the relationship just like that and after all, you have been through. Rather I am saying forgive because it is important in improving yourself and helping you move forward.

Now when you have forgiven your boyfriend within yourself, you need to think constructively about the situation, think about the relationship, and think about what is next. Is the relationship worth saving or rather is he worth all the time and stress? Yes, you have forgiven but you need to draw a clear picture.

Read Also: Is It Normal For My Boyfriend To Hit Me?

The picture that contains how you currently feel. And how you think about your relationship. If you feel you can’t let go of what he has done and you constantly think about the past whenever you see him.

Then you should ask for some time. Be truthful when you tell him how you feel about what has happened and do not mix words rather be clear in expressing how you felt for example “I was hurt…. Because”. Just find the right words to express yourself and also request time. Time heals all wounds. Let him know you would contact him when you are fine and he doesn’t have to keep coming or stacking you. It would require time but it is worth it if the relationship is worth saving.

How Do I Forgive My Boyfriend For Hitting Me?

In other to forgive and forget what your boyfriend has done you need to go through the following steps:

  • Think Thoroughly
  • Recognize The Importance Of Forgiveness
  • Let Go Of The Anger
  • Ask Yourself

Think Thoroughly

You have to think about your good times together as well as the bad times. If the good times together are better and bigger than the bad times. Then you should consider accepting him into your life once again. The memories of the good times would help you get over the current hurt you feel and help you look forward to more good memories.

Recognize The Importance Of Forgiveness

You have to understand the concept of “Forgiveness”. It involves an intentional and deliberate decision to let go of the emotions of rage, grudge, or anger towards someone or something. Now looking at the ” importance”. It helps you have the feeling of understanding and a feeling of empathy, sympathy, and compassion for the one who has hurt you. So when you realize the concept of Forgiveness and why it is important to Forgive then it becomes easy for you to forgive those who have offended you.

Let Go Of The Anger

To forgive is one thing and to let go is another thing. Try tricks like counting or singing when you start feeling resentment once again. It might not be easy to completely let go so when you go out together as usual try creating new memories or considering it as your first date.

 At the moment you can stop yourselves from holding hands when you work together or sitting too close, it’s possible because you are trying to let go so you need to forget the past. If you feel you are not comfortable hanging out at the moment be sure to tell him about it, do not pretend. It’s a time of building that lost trust once again so feel free to tell your spouse that you are trying to build up the trust you once had in him.

Ask Yourself

We are no saints and we get to offend people once in a while. So think about the situation from a different perspective. What if he had been in your shoes? Like you had been the one to hit him because he said something or did something you didn’t like and not the other way around. What would you do in that situation?

Or what would you expect him to do? Would you expect him to forgive your actions or would you see your actions as something that shouldn’t be condoned or forgiven? So having to ask yourself these questions and you feel you deserve a chance to be heard, accepted, and forgiven again. This would give you the realization that he also deserves a chance to be forgiven.

What Should Not Be Forgiven In A Relationship?

There are various things to look out for in a relationship. Among such are things that should not be condoned or should not be forgiven in a relationship. After reading through this segment of the article, you will understand 

  • Lying
  • Cheating
  • Lack Of Support
  • Emotional Abuse
  • Disrespect
  • Physical Abuse
  • Bad Behaviors
  • Disrespect Towards Family And Friends

Lying

When your partner is someone who is not afraid to lie to others without having any feeling of remorse. Or when your partner often shies away from his responsibility or says the truth and lies are his usual habits then he would definitely lie to impress you or got to believe him. When he constantly lies to you then it is not acceptable. Foundations built on lies would surely fall.

Cheating

If your partner engages in infidelity. If he sees other women, then there is a high possibility that he would do the same when you both get married. If he is not faithful to you now. If he sleeps around then you need to end the relationship.

Lack Of Support

Support is very important in a relationship. Your partner should support your success and progress in life. If he gets angry at your achievements or jealous of your success then it is definitely not a good sign.

Emotional Abuse

No matter the conflict you have in an intimate relationship, emotional Abuse shouldn’t be an option. Your partner should never insult you, body shame you, or make you feel less emotionally.

Disrespect

Respect is reciprocal. Your opinions should be respected in the relationship. As well as your presence, the way your partner respects you would be the way others do. When your partner constantly downgrades you in the presence of others or talks down about you or talks about your weakness in the midst of friends that’s a bad sign. He should be able to keep your secrets and accept your strength as well as your weakness.

Physical Abuse

If your partner hits you once and is genuinely repentant he should be forgiven but if he keeps on beating, hitting, or abusing you physically then it is highly unacceptable. No one has the right to treat you badly.

Bad Behaviors

Behaviors like short temper and rudeness should not be accepted. If your partner is rude to others and speaks to them in an inappropriate manner he would do the same to you when he eventually gets angry.

If he is someone that constantly nags about whatever he has done for you, and how you should be appreciative, such can be considered as pride. When he doubts you without any reason or monitors your movement. He stops you from hanging out with friends and family. Or wants you to live your life according to his terms and conditions such characteristics do not change after marriage.

Disrespect Towards Family And Friends

Your spouse should be able to respect your friends as well as families. Not only in words but also In actions. He should respect your family’s decision as well as their view. He should be able to treat them as he would treat his own family and friends.

Conclusion 

If you are asking the question if you should forgive your boyfriend for hitting you once? Having learned about Forgiveness and its importance. And whether or not you should forgive your partner. You also need to note things to look out for in a relationship.

Warning signs that a relationship is not proper. Or things you should not condone In a relationship. Asides from those things we have discussed, your partner should be able to discuss whatever he is passing through with you. He should feel comfortable around you to enable him to share his moment of Joy and pain with you.

-Ilufoye Ibukun 

Do I Forgive My Boyfriend For Hitting ME ONCE?

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