What Does It Feel Like?
Heartbreak is like a deep wound that keeps bleeding like it never wants to stop. The pain that accompanies heartbreak is better imagined than experienced.
You may lose your appetite, avoid social gatherings, lose the zeal to work, etc. It’s not something anyone should go through but at the end of the day we are all humans and as long as we are humans we remain fallible. We end up hurting people as they hurt us too.
How Do You Tell If You Have A Broken Heart?
When you love someone so much but they don’t love you the same way, when you care about someone so much but they don’t give 2 cents about you when you give your all but they don’t reach except they need something from you, you will tend to feel a tug of war in your chest, you then become paranoid and begin to ask yourself questions that may never get answered.
A lot of the time heartbreak is already screaming out before it happens. It’s just that we’ve chosen to lose touch with reality and so we are blinded by what we think it should be other than what we see.
What do I mean? I mean that there are signs a person is going to get heartbroken but a lot of times we are caught up with what should be rather than what is going on at present.
A person who has a broken heart will be close-hearted towards love, they wouldn’t want to have anything to do with love or anything related to it because of the hurt they feel.
A lot of times when people claim that they have moved from a past relationship, what they mean most times is that their heart is closed off, some don’t even realize it until when they find love again, then they begin to treat this new person as though they were the cause of the previous heartbreak.
No one prays for a broken heart but it happens when it happens which is why we should always step away from a person and look deep to see if we are happy being with or without this person or if we are truly being our best self in the relationship.
The Following Are Signs That You Have A Broken Heart
- You easily lose interest and enthusiasm for social gatherings
- You’ve given up on love
- You’ve shut yourself out from friends and family
- You don’t want to meet someone new
- You don’t want to watch any romantic scenes, or movies or even attend a wedding
- You become paranoid about the opposite gender
- You easily lose trust
- You play mind games on people who show you interest
- You become paranoid around people
- You no longer believe in long-term relationships
You easily lose interest and enthusiasm for social gatherings
This is when you suddenly turn into a couch potato, you don’t want to chill out or have fun because you’ve become so protective of yourself that you prevent other people from getting to you.
You’ve given up on love
You probably haven’t realized this yet but you have given up on love and you don’t think that after the hurt you’ve experienced that you will find love again.
You’ve shut yourself out from friends and family
Your family tries to reach you but you are cold and out of touch. Your friends do not have access to you anymore and you have refused to hang out or talk about the situation with them.
You don’t want to meet someone new
You keep thinking that it will happen again, so you are afraid to get to know someone because in your heart you still think another heartbreak could be possible with this new person.
You don’t want to watch any romantic scenes, or movies or even attend a wedding
This one even makes you sad because you watch a romantic scene and all of a sudden you begin to mourn your failed relationship all over again and wish the heartbreak never happened
Read Also: How Can You Tell A Woman Is Heartbroken?
You become paranoid about the opposite gender
Every person now looks like a potential heartbreaker to you, so you begin to pick out flaws from this person and never cut them some slacks.
You easily lose trust
You find it hard to trust anyone again, so you make it difficult for someone to earn your trust
You play mind games on people who show you interest
You do this to give yourself some self-validation and mini-revenge for what your ex did to hurt you or break your heart
You become paranoid around people
You already judge people even before you get to know them and you think low of them. In local parlance” you do not rate them at all”. You can’t seem to think of anything positive about them no matter how hard you try.
You no longer believe in long-term relationships
You lack the willpower to commit when it’s time for the commitment you shy away from the responsibility and give all sorts of excuses to avoid the commitment word.
Read Also: How To Find Love After 30
A heartbreak situation is usually hard to process, your emotions are in a rush and you can’t seem to process what just happened because in your eyes everything was good “we were happy” and now this happens.
You keep asking yourself “where did I go wrong?”, “what could I have done differently?
The more you ask these questions, the more you get worried because you may never get the answers to those questions.
The aftermath of heartbreak is a delicate one that must be handled with utmost care otherwise it may scar you for a long time. One of the reasons why you may not easily overcome a heartbreak is that you’ve refused to heal.
You still want to nurse the pain, you still want to bask in the euphoria of what could have been. Moving on is difficult but you have to move on regardless, and surround yourself with trusted friends and family. Talking about the situation with others can help you heal in time.
You can also seek counseling or even therapy because you need to be healthy and secure again. A failed love doesn’t mean that love fails. You can still find love again even after a breakup if only you choose to heal and prepare your heart for someone else.
Seeking a counselor will enable you to see different perspectives of the heartbreak and also help you understand your relationships better. You can’t see it all, sometimes you will need to see through the eye of another person’s lenses.
Conclusion
One surefire way of knowing that heartbreak is on its way is through reduced communication or the lack of it. Communication is the nutrient for a healthy relationship just like food nourishes the body, so does communication nourish a relationship. Without food, your body will be deprived of what it needs to survive and will also not have the energy needed to live life to the fullest, so it is with communication in a relationship. There are other signs to look out for but lack of tops on the chart.
Communication bonds people together which is why the more you talk to someone the more you become connected to that person. Talking to someone keeps you in the mind of the person and allows you into their world and into their inner circle which in turn makes you close to this person which is why reduced communication should bother you when it happens all of a sudden.
You will need to look at the frequency of your communication and most importantly the quality of communication you both have but also make sure that you are also putting in the effort to not let communication die because it’s a two-way street.
-Jessica Egbuagah